LET’S CONTROL OUR THOUGHTS BEFORE THEY CONTROL OUR LIVES

By Dr. Manjeet Kaur

I think, act and behave based on MY perceptions

The author of Positive Thinking & Happiness prescribes a recipe to enjoy a harmonious life, day after days.

In order to face the stresses of life and emerge a winner in challenging situations, it becomes important for us to feed our minds with loving positive thoughts and nourish the body and soul with meditation.  Wisdom lies in opening the heart and mind and embracing all that comes with life.  But where does this wisdom come from?  Our brains!  How do we feed that wisdom into our brains?  For me, the answer has been by practicing positive thinking.  Having positive thoughts and being optimistic leads to relaxation and happiness in life.

The old proverb – Practice makes perfect – applies very aptly to our health and wellness, which is governed by our brains.  If we learn to control our minds, we can guide our brains to perceive positive in everything, including the positive and negative situations.  Negative emotions create havoc in our body.  In order to be disease-free, we need to send positive messages to our bodies so that our brain-body connection can create a path of relaxation and let the flow of energy within our bodies run smoothly without any bumps.  To move forward, we need to concentrate on positive thoughts and emotions, and break away from the thoughts that tax our nervous system.

To think positive, the mind has to be under an individual’s control, rather than controlling the individual.  We control our minds.  In any kind of situation, our thoughts are flooded with positive and negative emotions.  Concentrating on the positive emotions leads to more self-control.  When we are more in control of our emotions we are more stable emotionally, our senses are more alert, and we can look at things more positively.  The mind can be trained through meditation to have faith in the positive energy and spiritual power within each one of us; it can be trained to look at the positive side of situations and individuals alike.  What comes out of this training is a HAPPY and RELAXED person.  When we are in a positive and happy state of mind, the positive energy itself guides all our life decisions and paves the way to success.  The power lies within us.  We use only one percent of the powerful energy we are bestowed with; the rest remains unused.  The more we use this positive energy, the more power we get to control our thoughts and guide them towards positive outcomes.  If we connect to positive energy by practicing relaxation techniques and meditation, we can attract good fortune.

Life is a journey filled with joys and sorrows.  Throughout life we come across different and difficult situations which we cannot simply ignore.  We have to look at what makes us happy and adopt ways of life that will lead to a satisfying and fulfilling journey.  Would one lay more emphasis on that which leads to negative emotions and makes life miserable, or would one search for how to deal with the situation in a way that will solve our problems and help us avoid these in the future?  Once we tackle a stressful situation, it will no more be a challenge for us. The secret lies in accepting the challenging situation and gearing our thoughts towards positivism so that we are more in control of ourselves.  Only then we can enhance problem solving skills to make rewarding decisions.

Advantages of Thinking Positive

  1. Individuals who think positive are able to deal better with stress since they approach every situation with an optimistic attitude.
  2. By thinking positive, we gain insight into optimal living, which optimizes our ability to deal with challenging situations and enhance positivism in all spheres of life.
  3. Positive thoughts help us understand our emotions and psychological concepts at a deeper level.
  4. Increase in positive emotions leads to well-being and helps us to live life to the fullest by always being happy.
  5. Positive thinking leads to mental, physical, spiritual, and financial wellness and helps in acquiring a better understanding of individual and cultural differences.

We keep learning throughout our life; with learning we acquire new traits and characteristics that further nourish our consciousness and soul.  Be it joy or sorrow, every human being experiences the emotions involved.  When challenging life situations arise, we have to make choices to deal with those situations.  If we give in, we have already failed the test.  If we accept the challenging situation, look at the positive and move forward to tackle it, we have half won the battle.

Acceptance

Accepting situations and people is the first step towards problem solving.  If we learn to accept both the joys, and sorrows of life, we will be in a better position to maintain a balance in our lives.  When distressed, we should gather our thoughts and devise strategies which will lead to positive outcomes.

Why fret when it will negatively affect our health and only lead to regret?

It helps to surrender to life itself by accepting and being compassionate in healing the wounds it gives us.  If we treat the wounds with love, the healing will be faster.

We build our own personalities based on past experiences.  What and how we think, feel and act become lasting traits and build our unique personalities.  If our love is stronger than our negative feelings, we will develop a loving personality.

Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect.  It means that you have decided to look beyond the imperfections.
– Gerard Way

Forgiveness

Forgiving others and ourselves is the next step to take after acceptance.  Almost all our emotional experiences involve others.  Many times, knowingly or unknowingly, we hurt our loved ones and also get hurt ourselves by others.  In instances like this, learning to forgive heals the emotional wounds faster.  Forgiveness takes us closer to achieving fulfillment and connecting further to the positive flow of energy inside us.

To err is human; to forgive, divine

                                                  – Alexander Pope

When we ourselves make mistakes, we should not hold grudges against others.  I believe, by forgiving others, we forgive ourselves.

Optimism

The best way to keep ourselves going and deal with the stresses before they overcome us, is to look at the positive in every situation.  See the good in every situation and be hopeful of the best results.  Sometimes, it becomes very difficult to look at something positive in a very stressful situation.  In cases like that, we need to remember that dwelling on the negatives and worrying too much about the outcomes will only weaken us and lead to illness and disease.  If we think and look for the positive in this kind of stressful situation, we are sending a positive message throughout our body as well.

For myself I am an optimist – it does not seem to be much use being anything else.

                                                – Sir Winston Churchill

Train the Brain

One of the greatest treasures humans have is the power of thinking.  We have no control over what life throws at us, but we do have control over how we receive and respond to it.  What guides us in that?  Our BRAIN!  The brain has to be trained to form positive habits by regular practice.  To form a new habit, we need to break the old ones.  In order to break the old habits, we have to practice the new habit for at least a month or so, to bring about a permanent change in our behavior and make the new habits a part of our lifestyle.

We can shape our lives to a great extent if we train our brains to practice positive thinking techniques regularly.  Practice mindfulness, meditation and relaxation; the more we practice, the more relaxed and accepting we will become.  It should become a way of life.  The practice should be regular; if we stop, our mind might start wandering again.  Just as we eat, drink and sleep regularly, we need to meditate as well so that we can control our minds and relax our brains, which in turn will relax our bodies and pave the way to mental, physical, and spiritual well-being.

Sometimes, even with regular practice, our minds might wander.  Being human, we go through emotions all the time.  The success of meditation lies in not becoming desperate and vulnerable, but instead continuously practicing relaxation techniques to calm and control the negative emotions, and enhance positive emotions.  When faced with challenges, we need to accept them, control our emotions and work towards achieving positive outcomes.

Creativity

Being creative is the ability to be innovative by conceiving an idea from our imagination.  Humans are gifted with the power of thinking.  By using the ability to invent ideas with our fertile brains, we can use our imagination and knowledge to come up with unique concepts.  For example, if you like to cook, create innovative delicacies by trying new cooking techniques.

Making Dreams and Thoughts Come True

We all dream about achieving success in different spheres of life, but how many of us actually put these dreams and thoughts into action?  Success comes to those who believe in fulfilling their dreams and working towards achieving their goals.  Achieving fulfillment of dreams is easier than we think.  In my experience, it is a simple process:

  1. The first step is action. First and foremost, in order to tread the path of dream fulfillment, put thoughts into action.  Get out of bed every morning with the thought: In order to achieve my goals, I need to first wake up and start working towards putting my dreams into action.
  2. The second step is patience and persistence; keep working diligently till success is achieved, and even after you have reached your goals.

Motivation and Leadership

Leadership is a quality and process where an individual comes up with an idea, leads the way to action, convincing other people to follow.  The leader, the person who starts the process takes the lead and influences others to follow, working together towards the attainment of a common goal or objective.

Most of us have come across situations in life where while in a group, someone poses a question to the group.  Initially, people in the group might be reluctant to answer, but as soon as one person answers, others follow.  The leader is this person who put his thinking into action and led the way to the discussion.  We all have ideas, however, the leader is the person who puts that idea into action and leads the path, making way for others to tread.

Self Esteem

Abraham Maslow, a famous psychologist, came up with a pyramid where he placed needs according to hierarchy: physiological, safety and security, love and belongingness, self-esteem and self-actualization (Myers). The fourth need in this pyramid, self-esteem is the feeling of regard, approval, and respect for the self which may depend a lot on an individual’s environment.  When we are surrounded by people who love and admire us, a feeling of love and belongingness is generated, which further raises our morale.  When our self-esteem is high, awareness of self brings joy and freedom into our lives.  Our focus and concentration increase, and we become more involved in what we do, thus achieving success in academic, home, social and occupational fields.

About the author

Dr. Manjeet Kaur PhD (Psychology) is an author of the book “Positive Thinking and Happiness” which is available at Amazon. She is a career consultant, speaker, trainer, professor, wellness consultant and an internationally known speaker on optimal wellness, happiness, laughter/humor, stress management, weight management, and positive thinking. She has spent the last 15 years researching, reading, learning, mastering and applying stress management, happiness, and positive thinking techniques to understand human wellness and helped clients to achieve their fullest potential by practicing these techniques. Dr. Kaur teaches Psychology at various colleges and universities in USA and is well versed in developing specific need-based programs for individual client requirements. Dr. Manjeet is a frequent speaker on a wide array of health issues, and is frequently featured in print, radio, and television interviews in India and the United States.

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